Chapter 1
It was a dark and stormy night in the middle of a bitterly,brutally freezing-cold,dark,stormy winter and a snowstorm was raging outside.I was just duteously,purposely, conscientiously coming back from the bathroom (where I had been relieving myself),when I heard another call of nature;this from my one-and-only sweet-pea-munchkin-princess;my nearly 10-months-old peanut-girl; Carrie Anne. Meanwhile,the rest of the house being so quiet from my vivacious, blushing bride;Susan and our two handsome young sons;William and Oscar,all peacefully slumbering away;the latter two already going on the assumption that they weren't going to have school the next day since it had already started snowing before they went to bed and therefore were having some really nice,sweet dreams.Of course,hearing Carrie Anne calling: "Dada!",from her all-over-pink nursery only tugged at my heartstrings even more,like someone trying to rip my heart out of my chest and that, therefore prompted me to have no other choice but to go tend to her and see what's wrong. Therefore,I consciously,intently, subsequently stepped into the nursery,flipped on the main lights and gradually, leisurely padded right into the all-over-pink,uber-girly nursery of my chubba-wubba girl;Carrie Anne getting increasingly excited the closer I got to her big,bold,beautiful,pink,mahogany cribby-crib.
"Hey,hey,there's my little sweet-pea-angel-cakes................oh boy,you're getting so big already,sweet-pea;so what's wrong,angel-face?",I conscientiously,assiduously questioned my little sweet-pea,angel-princess,as I stepped towards her and then placed my calloused,work-worn hands under her plump,chubby,roly-poly,little armpits and energetically,boisterously whisked her right out of her big,bold,beautiful,pink mahogany cribby-crib and right into my strong,muscular,secure arms.
Of course,once I got Carrie Anne out of her smelly,poopy diaper,she was happier than a pig in slop and she immediately smiled immensely and even started giggling at my gagging on the rank smell from her poopy diaper,as she obviously thought that I was making some immensely silly sound with my mouth.
It was a dark and stormy night in the middle of a bitterly,brutally freezing-cold,dark,stormy winter and a snowstorm was raging outside.I was just duteously,purposely, conscientiously coming back from the bathroom (where I had been relieving myself),when I heard another call of nature;this from my one-and-only sweet-pea-munchkin-princess;my nearly 10-months-old peanut-girl; Carrie Anne. Meanwhile,the rest of the house being so quiet from my vivacious, blushing bride;Susan and our two handsome young sons;William and Oscar,all peacefully slumbering away;the latter two already going on the assumption that they weren't going to have school the next day since it had already started snowing before they went to bed and therefore were having some really nice,sweet dreams.Of course,hearing Carrie Anne calling: "Dada!",from her all-over-pink nursery only tugged at my heartstrings even more,like someone trying to rip my heart out of my chest and that, therefore prompted me to have no other choice but to go tend to her and see what's wrong. Therefore,I consciously,intently, subsequently stepped into the nursery,flipped on the main lights and gradually, leisurely padded right into the all-over-pink,uber-girly nursery of my chubba-wubba girl;Carrie Anne getting increasingly excited the closer I got to her big,bold,beautiful,pink,mahogany cribby-crib.
"Hey,hey,there's my little sweet-pea-angel-cakes................oh boy,you're getting so big already,sweet-pea;so what's wrong,angel-face?",I conscientiously,assiduously questioned my little sweet-pea,angel-princess,as I stepped towards her and then placed my calloused,work-worn hands under her plump,chubby,roly-poly,little armpits and energetically,boisterously whisked her right out of her big,bold,beautiful,pink mahogany cribby-crib and right into my strong,muscular,secure arms.
It was while I was holding Carrie Anne and got a really good whiff of the foul payload that she was carrying in her soiled diaper that I realized what the problem was and purposely,consciously carried her right over to her adorable,beautifully-furnished changing-table and carefully,meticulously lowered her right down onto it;making sure to hold her adorable,precious,cherubic little head that already had a good head or thick coat of beautiful,adorable,platinum-blonde tresses on it,as I diagnostically, analytically broadcasted to the stunningly gorgeous,blanket sleeper-cocooned chubba-wubba:
"Okay,sweet-pea,I see what's wrong;let's bring you...................right over here and lay you down on your changing-table..................like so;there you go and now;Daddy's going to take your diapie off and then clean his little angel-peanut-girl right up right away,so you don't have to feel all that icky pooh-pooh on your adorable,plump.....................roly-poly,little butt! Oh boy,you're really excited and happy that Daddy's going to change you and is talking to you,my little darling-angel,yes you are!"
I then leaned over and planted a sloppy,messy,slapdash kiss on her angel-soft,silky-smooth forehead and plump,round,rotund,billowy,little cheeks.I then proceeded to meticulously,methodically take Carrie Anne first out of her super-plushy,exceptionally fluffy,one-piece,footed,Sears Winnie-the-Pooh,one-piece,footed,blanket sleeper and eventually,lastly,her smelly,poop-filled diaper.
Of course,once I got Carrie Anne out of her smelly,poopy diaper,she was happier than a pig in slop and she immediately smiled immensely and even started giggling at my gagging on the rank smell from her poopy diaper,as she obviously thought that I was making some immensely silly sound with my mouth.
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